Womb To Grow

A Doula's Delicate Dance For Her Sisters

2012-01-05T19:02:00.000-07:00

As a doula and childbirth educator I always feel like I want to separate myself from my family and friends who become pregnant. I want to let them find their own way, wait to see if they come to me for any advice...and if they do, try to ask questions instead of give answers. I want women to find their own answers, not take mine.
It's a delicate dance, and more and more I'm finding that maybe I do need to use stronger encouragement to promote natural childbirth and the midwifery model of care. Maybe I do need ask the hard questions, dig deep into the fears of my sisters...maybe I'll regret being delicate when my sister and friend asks me...
"How do I let go of not having the birth I wanted? I watched the end of "a baby story" today and the woman had her perfect natural birth and I cried. I cant believe it still makes me sad when I have such a gorgeous little baby. I feel ungrateful when I feel sad because my baby's here and really in the end that's really what counts."
So I responded...
You ask a deep deep question...lots of women ask it. I'm not sure what the right answer is because it's a very personal question. For me, I wrote my birth story. Man did that ever reveal a lot about how I really felt. Things I didn't realize I was holding onto so harshly. Then I wrote a letter to my doctor. She never did understand where I was coming from, but at least I did, and I was able to forgive her and move on. The other part of my healing is supporting other women through the maze that is pregnancy and childbirth.
What I've discovered is that birth matters. I also know that the medical model of care has become so prominent that the CULTURE of birth has actually shifted. The shift from freedom to fear, and the goal of all my birth work is to shift it back! Back to a culture of free birth where women are not scared, and we put ourselves at the centre of our birth. If we put our self first, mother nature will follow. We are designed to protect our babies. Birth rarely makes mistakes...disturbed birth ...well that's a different story.
My email signature is " I believe a woman's experience at birth lays the foundation for her journey tthrough motherhood" It means when a baby is born, so is a mother...and she needs a lot of strength and support to be a mother....yes the healthy baby is important, but not more important than a healthy mother. We are equal...equal because the mother conceives, grows, nourishes, gives birth to, feeds and protects the healthy baby. These important roles can be accomplished best by a healthy mother.
Subconsciously our birth experiences play a huge role on our mental health....that's the "foundation". Our birth is the beginning...the start of mothering our babies earth side. All women want it to be perfect, the subconscious mind wants achievement. Women WANT to bring their babies into the world as peacefully as possible... it's our nature...in our veins...in our soul...our innate wisdom. We just know we'll do anything to let our babies be born in the way they need to be born. But we live in a culture that doesn't trust us to do the job...the entire system is trying to rescue us from our births! We don't need to be rescued! We need to be believed in! Then after we've been rescued and we're confused the subconscious is not confused, the subconscious did not get achievement, the subconscious got failure. So we are confused because we are suppose to feel blessed, and happy all the time because we have our healthy baby in our arms, but something is wrong????
Maybe, all you need is a friend who loves you deeply to say...you didn't fail.

And maybe all I need is the strength to talk about my beliefs with the women in my life who I love before their birth...they're my beliefs and I can share them without the presumption that I want others to believe them too. It may mean a few less confused mothers...

There's still womb to grow...

2011-11-09T02:48:00.000-07:00

I do believe it's time for an update...I have been on quite the journey and this post is dedicated to taking you on the ride!
Spring 2011...I closed up shop! It was such a bummer. I was overwhelmed with feelings of disappointment, fear, failure, excitement, joy and confusion. I spoke about this with only my man and my sisters, and when aquaintances asked me about it I would always say "It's bitter sweet." That summed up the situation perfectly.
I fell in love with being a doula all over again this spring, after attending a long but beautiful, undisturbed birth at the Fernie hospital. I have been inspired ever since to grow my doula business and prenatal classes.

Summer 2011...Study, study, study. This summer I took two midwifery courses with Gloria Lemay on WizIQ which I should mention is a fabulous forum for online education! I also took Karen Brody's Birth Facilitator Training Program FEARtoFREEDOM. I hosted a free Mother-Centered Birth workshop at Essential Yoga Studio as part of the certification process. After reading the comments on the participant evaluation forms I stand firmly behind the fact that we need to change the culture of birth. FEARtoFREEDOM is the future!

Autum 2011...Autum is like a second spring~each leaf is a flower. I don't know who wrote that, but I'm quoting my favourite yoga instructor Shona. She always ends each class with a beautiful quote to take into the day. I was introduced to her class by participating in the 30 Day Challenge. Shona teaches yoga for alignment. Her class has you giving and receiving love, opening your heart & soul until you're sweating and you don't even know why because you just feel so good and wide open! I won't write too much about the challenge because I'll be blogging about it on Authentic Mama, essentially *no pun intended* it was 30days of yoga in 40 days time.

In September I attended another inspiring birth at the Fernie hospital. I witnessed a woman fully supported by her amazing birth team. She didn't end up with the birth she had wanted, but her experience was that of a respected, loved, and worthy woman and that made all the difference.

At the end of October I screened a film at the Arts Station for New Moon Movie Night. If you don't know the history of women gathering at the new moon I highly recommend that you read The Red Tent. You may also want to attend this month's film on New Moon Movie Night November 23rd.

A New Branch...whenever I start a new birth junkie project I say "I've grown a new branch" It works well with my business name Womb To Grow. Also, there is the connection with the business branch. Mostly though I like to visualize one of my favourite meditations. Give it a try...

Find solitude, a comfortable sitting position on the floor and place your hands palms down on the floor next to your hips. Close your eyes and connect to your breath. Inhale slowly into your nose, and exhale slowly out your nose. Continue breathing this way until you feel relaxed. Now visualize your energy, your life force flowing through your body from the base of your spine up through the crown of your head and back down again with each breath you take. This energy flows right out through your palms into the ground rooting with mother nature the divine earth and draws strength from her as your energy's join and travel the length of your spine together. Now when that energy reaches your crown it sends a beautiful vibration of branches, nerves, and positivity high into the sky! Then like the canopy of a willow tree it flows back to earth connecting the cycle. Receive this energy with every inhale and send your love and life force energy down with each exhale...

Another branch is growing...Under The Moon Fernie & Area is my newest adventure! I am so excited to have another excuse to gather with women and discuss all things motherhood...

Finally! Home Parties for mamas! Under the Moon has the freshest gear for the hippest mamas AND gives you the opportunity to get your gals together to shop from your party! You'll be the hostess with the most~ess when your friends see Under the Moon's catalogue of items, and you have the opportunity to score some great deals by throwing a party!

underthemoon@wombtogrowinfernie.com

Winter?? Don't rush me! I'm starting to get excited about the epic Fernie powder, but as far as I'm concerned winter begins at the solstice! I'll be hosting parties, teaching prenatal & FEARtoFREEDOM, screening films, attending births and studying midwifery...keep in touch!

May is...

2011-05-21T14:36:00.004-06:00

May is International Doula month... Have you hired a doula?
I could write about all the amazing experiences, relationships and opportunities being a doula has provided me...but there is something on my mind that is bigger than all of that.
I've been thinking about my role in the birth room. I have many ideas about the paradigm shift that needs to happen in order for women to take back their births (this implying that their power is being taken away) but what I have come to discover is that no shift is going to happen until women ACKNOWLEDGE that current birth trends aren't acceptable.
As a doula I can choose to highlight all the unnecessary interventions, the increasing c-section rate, the lack of women centred support, OR I can analyze MY role, think about what I am doing to make woman centred care a reality for each of my clients. If you hire a doula what are your expectations of her? Do you think hiring a doula will lead to an empowered birth experience? Do you think hiring a doula will prevent you from experiencing birth trauma? Do you think hiring a doula will keep you out of the OR? I'm sorry to say, if you answered yes to any of these questions you have unrealistic expectations of the role of a doula. No doula can promise any of these things...what I can promise is that I will never doubt your capability, I will support you and your partner through the highs and lows of labour in a way that keeps you at the centre of your birth. I will whisper words of encouragement at just the right moment...and I'll know when that is just by looking into your eyes and remembering what it feels like to be in your shoes. My doula work isn't about giving you or promising you anything but understanding &love. It's all a doula needs in her birth bag.
So who do you hire to meet these expectations? Women of Earth hear my words singing from the mountain tops of the Elk Valley...YOU HIRE YOURSELF! There is a powerful candidate ready, willing and waiting to shine, you have to trust her to do the job. You can doubt her occasionally, but the majority of the time you have to believe she will succeed. The only person who can claim responsibility for woman centred birth is you. It's your birth...own it.
www.feartofreedombirth.com

May is many other things too.

On the 5th of May from the comfort of my bed I celebrated International Day of the Midwife while fighting the symptoms of strep throat...now that's a bug!

I had big dreams of taking my boys to Cranbrook to celebrate. The East Kootenay Midwives were celebrating the day by hosting a 5km Walk to Durban. 'Midwives walking together to save lives' The walk was to raise awareness regarding maternal and newborn health, a topic that will no doubt be prevalent at the International Confederation of Midwives 29th triennial congress in Durban South Africa.

My vision was to make big signs for my sons to carry high above their heads:

I wanted to be there...but instead I was in bed feeling sorry for myself. I was there, marching alongside my midwives, in spirit. But...the reality is I celebrate midwifery everyday. Whenever I have the opportunity I ask women if they have a midwife...and a doula! In my rural BC town there is a big problem with our maternity services. It's not a people problem, I am confident in the women who catch babies in Fernie...it's more a 'system' problem. The way I see it Interior Health doesn't understand the impact that having no other choice but to leave your community to give birth has on the mental health of an expectant mother! Dare I mention the impact on the birth process itself? With the Operating Room at Elk Valley Hospital closed every other weekend AND an entire month over the summer I think it's fair to say you have a thirty percent chance of making the trip to Cranbrook to have your baby. Cranbrook...an amazing facility with no continuity of care except the chart your physician has noted your medical history, and hopefully a few of the desires for your birth plan. So let me repeat myself...do you have a doula? She knows your desires, and she'll be at your birth no matter where it takes place. Oh and did I mention the closest midwifery practice happens to be IN Cranbrook? So why not be one hundred percent sure of your birth plan? Choose midwifery care, give birth in Cranbrook, and come home without having possibly endured all the unexpected events that rural maternity care seem to impede us with.

May is also mother's day, and...

I could choose to write about what becoming a mother has meant in my life, I gave birth to my youngest son on May 10th 2008. The next day was Mother's day, and that same year eight days later another woman gave birth to her son...but this May also marks one year since two mother's I was working with lost their babies only one week a part. Their birthdays were May 18th and May 24th. There is a strange coincidence about the date May 18th. I use to be a strong believer in manifestation of the negative. So I simply chose not to discuss unexpected outcomes with women I was working with prenatally. But then I read a birth story that made me re-think this philosophy, and connect with the part of me that is a conscious mama who knows...when my children are not with me I subconsciously worry. There is a place in my heart that throbs to know they are safe. It doesn't consume my every thought or direct my every action, but it is there. Every mother endures this, some mothers cope better than others in the realm of subconscious worries. The reality is we know that within our children there is a spirit we have no control of. I think this same level of consciousness should be present in women who are with child. Don't worry about the possibility of stillbirth, or complications, but respect that the spirit within you is not yours to claim. You can try to protect it, but you cannot claim it. So what do you do? You cherish every moment. This is the essence of motherhood...soaking in the butterflies, hiccups, kicks, cries, laughs, tantrums, milestones hello's and goodbyes. It's only the moments you can claim as your own. The story I read that made me think long and hard about what I just said was written in Midwifery Today Spring 2009 N0. 89 by a midwife named Darjee Sahala. I couldn't find a link to the story, but there is a tragically beautiful slideshow that brings life to her words...BRONA
It was her words, Brona's mother, who made me get my hands on everything I could on the subject of still birth and how to support families through their grief. It was her words that made me think hard about my own mother, who adopted me after losing two sons. Two- Charles & Andrew Malcolm. I finally asked her to tell me those stories. I hung off her every word...she felt all of the same things that Darjee felt...only decades before. Maybe I would never have asked...maybe I would never have imagined the injustice...My mother...birthing two angels. But I did ask, I did imagine...all because of Brona born an angel May 18th 2008... Little did I know I would use all this information...feel and try and cope with all the grief...precisely two years later.

Learning to love math...

2011-03-29T13:13:00.000-06:00

This morning I called my friend Paul a local physician and anesthesiologist, we talk for a little while and then he says "Hey did I tell you about my brother?..oh Tanya, you're going to love this!"

His brother Carl, father to three children all born at home, read the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) July 2010 meta-analysis reporting the risk of homebirth, and he just couldn't believe the information could be true. Being a physicist he had the skill to find the study, research how it was performed, and truth be told...find the error!

The thing about Carl is, he didn't just toss this information aside and let the rest of the thousands of readers who had access to this poorly conducted study believe the information. Oh no...Carl wanted the record set straight. I love this guy!

After little success with communication from ACOG, Carl went to the Midwifery Department at UBC. Still, even with the support of a whole University Faculty no response from the journal, ACOG, or the author. Eventually 'Nature' International Weekly Journal of Science picked up the story...
Home Birth Study Investigated
make sure and follow the link to the initial study. To learn more about the man behind the math go here...
Seeking clarity for the toughest decisions of all
Does that just blow your mind? Why is a physicist who has been described to me as a "bug enthusiast" doing more calculations than the authors of this study? I mean come on? Seriously an online statistic calculator? People...just do the math okay...or hire somebody to do it. I know, I know, the error in calculations didn't effect the study enough to change the conclusion. That's not the point. I read the study in July, and it just didn't sit right with me. After reading lot's of arguments for and against the study and still not having the background to do the math for myself I resorted to "it's an American study and I live in Canada" I still believed the findings, and so did a lot of other birth professionals. It looks like I'm going to have to take a few statistics courses...great.
Lastly, I just want to thank Carl for...
being good at math and computer programing,
following through & most importantly...
trusting birth.

Small Business BIG Impact Challenge

2011-03-13T22:02:00.000-06:00

Womb To Grow has entered the Small Business BIG Impact Challenge here's the three question's I was asked, and my response to them:

What does your business do to make your community a better place to live?

Womb To Grow Boutique & Support Centre is Fernie's first maternity store and perinatal support centre. I provide products and services that support women throughout their journey to motherhood. This support is having a BIG impact on my community in a number of different ways. Fernie is a rural community seeing a baby boom from 2009 to the present. Accessibility to mother and child friendly products was very limited. Being able to find what you need within town at competitive prices is very important to the residents here. Womb To Grow filled the need. Women come to Womb To Grow looking for maternity wear and leave with what they came to purchase and so much more. I always provide local prenatal resources, free information on birth issues and the advantages of doula supported childbirth. I offer memberships that entitle members to the use of my extensive lending library, as well as classes and workshops from prenatal education to cloth diapering. All of this education stays in the community. If one woman takes a class or workshop, ten or more hear about it, learn from others, or register for the next series themselves. Just like in most areas of life, if not even more so in the realm of motherhood..."Education is Power" Womb To Grow Boutique & Support Centre provides the products my clients want and the services they need.

Why have you chosen to take this approach?

"It takes a village to raise a child." Childbirth lays the foundation of the journey to motherhood. Womb To Grow Boutique & Support Centre maintains that when a woman feels respected and empowered by her birth experience she'll gain strength and determination to ease the, often challenging, transition to motherhood. The benefit lies in the fact that when the mother's of Fernie are empowered and inspired the community thrives! There are many organizations that acknowledge the importance of women and girls to their communities. Womb To Grow is a business that recognizes this importance and chooses to focus on mothers. There are many mother's in the community of Fernie who are inspired to find balance between mothering and professional work. They know the importance of having the right 'tools" to do the job. The average cost of raising a child to age one is 10,000 dollars http://www.ccsd.ca/factsheets/family/. Womb To Grow provides many of the products needed during this time period. Womb To Grow benefits not only an economical level, but also on a social level. I too am a mother in Fernie, and so my strong community of mother's will stand behind me when I say "It takes a village to raise a child."

What advice would you give other business owners who might be considering this idea?

I absolutely believe in this model of business. My advice would be "If you can find a niche that combines products and services that compliment each other and benefit the community, your business will be successful." Even companies who focus mainly on retail should consider providing services that are associated with the products they sell. The idea being when the retail side is slower, the services can help balance the cost of the stock on your shelves. This also works for companies in the service sector. It is a fairly common model, and when combined with issues that strengthen our communities and fuel social change the impact is BIG.

If you believe in the work I'm doing, please consider taking the time to cast a vote at the following link.

http://www.scotiachallenge.projects.fm/entry/4059829-Womb-To-Grow-Boutique-&-Suppor?offset=12&sort=upload+DESC&channel=11067

I'd appreciate it:)

I will keep this blog updated on my results as the challenge continues.

Our Day

2011-03-08T13:13:00.000-07:00

It's Women's Day today. I hope you're celebrating and offering each of our sisters a blessing today. I've been thinking about our past sisters. It's bee one hundred years of celebrating a day to call our own. The significance I take from marking our day is the simple fact that if we can celebrate ourselves and men can join us and acknowledge our celebrations for one day...than really we can celebrate ourselves all the time. My intent is to celebrate being a woman everyday.

Tonight I'm performing at the Arts Station for the International Women's Day Event hosted by the Fernie Women's Resource Centre. I'll be singing a couple songs and performing spoken werd. Come and check it out, it's going to be a great event!

Why Midwifery?

2011-03-01T11:49:00.004-07:00

Why?

Did you choose midwifery attended childbirth? Why? I finally caught up with my favourite doula. We have been meaning to catch up for a few months and we did it in 15 minutes yesterday afternoon. Why is she my favourite doula you may ask? Because she was my doula! She is the very reason I am on my path. She held my hand in a way that made me believe in myself and I haven't looked back since. Plus...she's a wealth of knowledge and she inspires me to keep going. So the title of this post? Why Midwifery?...my favourite doula lives in Alberta. Alberta has only recently added midwifery to it's Health Care plan. So when I was living in Alberta having my first baby in 2003 and tried to find a midwife to support my homebirth I was quoted $2000.00 for her services. I tried so hard to come up with the money, but in the end I went with a hospital birth attended by a family physician and a doula because I didn't have the cash. So now my favourite doula is a student midwife and working in Alberta. We spoke about midwifery care and the type of women who are seeking the midwifery model. It seems the midwives are attending mostly hospital births and inducing women mostly due to "dates" The women are more concerened about which midwife is going to be at their birth than with what type of birth they are going to try and achieve. They love the longer appointments, and often have been referred by a friend. Many of the women prefer to birth in the hospital "just in case." So why midwifery?
What about the woman who paid out of pocket for her first two homebirths before provincial coverage, who is now considering unassisted birth because her midwife is fully booked the month her third child is due? She's not thinking "just in case." Why Midwifery?
I believe in midwifery. I believe that all women deserve the midwifery model of care no matter where they choose to have their babies, but not if it's not widely available to all women. So far in both Alberta and BC it's not. So what's the solution...more midwives! More hospital based practices, more birth centre practices more homebirth practices, more education! In all of Canada and our 65 Universities there are only 6 midwifery programs. In BC there is 1 Registered Midwife for every 33,704 expectant mothers. In Alberta that statistics jumps up by nearly 40,000 women at an astounding 1 RM for every 73,163 expectant mothers. It's no wonder most women find themselves on a waiting list!
So if you're an expecting mother and you're reading this...I believe you deserve a midwife...but let me ask you this...
Why Midwifery?

Hooter Hiders

2011-01-29T15:02:00.004-07:00

At Womb To Grow I often have the pleasure of meeting soon-to-be grandmothers shopping with their pregnant daughters. I LOVE when this happens. The beauty of my retail store is that I can spark conversations about birth and mothering with women who are living that journey today. SO when I see mothers and daughters I am especially excited because I usually get to hear a birth story from around the time when I was born. Since I don't know my own birth story I treasure these moments. Recently, an expecting mum and her mother came in and instead of discussing birth we talked breastfeeding. The mother said she breastfed in a time when it wasn't mainstream. (Although I'm not certain it is now.) I asked her daughter if she had ever thanked her mum for that gesture? She laughed uncomfortably and said "Thanks for breastfeeding me mom." Then very unexpectedly her mother began to cry. I offered her a tissue and she started faning her eyes, shaking her head no and was very embarassed. I asked her where that emotion was coming from, and she said " I guess I'm just happy that somebody acknowledged that I did a good job." Isn't that sad? Then her daughter started to cry too, and they hugged and her daughter whispered"I Love you mum" I felt so incredibly blessed to have witnessed that exchange. After a minute I asked the daughter if she hoped to breastfeed. She responded "Well of course I hope to breastfeed, but I'm not limiting it as the only option." I understand that response. A lot of mothers today think that way. But in my mind I always think to myself...but what if it was the only option? What if infant formula didn't exist? A friend of mine who is very anti-formula, and whose husband is a physician told me she asked her husband if there was any woman who could not breastfeed and he replied "Yes, if she doesn't have breasts." Yet there are women who can't breastfeed! I know many conscious mamas who felt such despair when their bodies didn't make enough milk for their babies. I am very curious about this topic. What factors determine the milk supply of a woman? That my friends will be the subject of a future post. Of course I started out this post with a story I'd better get back to. So I wished this beautiful soon-to-be mother good luck with her birth and breastfeeding journey and told her if she was successful to come back for a nursing bra. Then she asked me if I carried 'Hooter Hiders' Hooter what? Yes you read correctly Hooter Hiders. I confessed my unfamiliarity with the product and she went on to explain the fashionable nursing covers available on the market today. "OH!!" I said in recognition. "No, I don't carry Hooter Hiders."
I have a problem with those nursing covers...okay I get it..whatever a woman needs to keep her breastfeeding right? But really? What kind of message does covering up your infant while he's eating send to the child? This is shameful and needs to be hidden? Another product to make breastfeeding a chore. The breast has one main purpose...TO NOURISH OUR CHILDREN. If our culture wasn't so sex crazy we'd find a way to initiate the downfall of the bottle. I want the breast to be on Hallmark's baby shower cards, I want the breast to be on the button of my diaper bag! I want the breast on Aden + Anais prints! I want the breast associated with infant feeding. I want the breast known globally as the superior food for your children. But no...the breast is left for Playboy magazine and Victoria's Secrets runway. I'm proud of my breasts...saggy, pulled on, leaky, and tender as they are...they nourished my children.

Lost Sisterhood

2010-12-31T13:12:00.006-07:00

The most beautiful woman I have seen in a very long time came into Womb To Grow yesterday. Her eyes mesmerizing, her voice gentle, and her womb...full of life. As usual I wanted all the details of her pregnancy, birth plans, hopes and fears. She is from Australia, visiting Fernie on a ski trip, and returns home in a month and delivers in April with midwives (thank goodness.) She said "We planned this trip and then I fell pregnant."

You fell what? I have never heard this term before? What does that mean? Well, obviously I know it means she got pregnant unexpectedly, but what does it mean for those women planning a pregnancy? What's the origin of the phrase "I fell pregnant"?

I've never known a woman to fall down and pop back up pregnant! Does it stem from the morally fallen usage - morally ruined, or reduced in some way? To me, it reflects a lack of control
over our destiny, our bodies. It also has a weird connotation of randomness and accident, like pregnancy is some sort of unseen obstacle.
"oops I fell" I'm not comfortable with that.

But maybe "I fell pregnant" the same way " I fell in love." It was hoped for, wanted, cherished and occasionally seemed like it wasn't worth the bloody effort but it's all a bit magical, inexplicable and not entirely within my total control.

I never asked the woman her name. I invited her to New Moon Movie Night and
discussed the film I would be showing. Right away she was turned off. "It shows birth? Oh...No thank you! I have a friend who said they showed a birth film in her prenatal class and it scared her to death! The less I know the better." My jaw must have unintentionally hit the floor because she looked at me and said " I know, I know I'm strange." I replied " No, actually your response is very common. That's the problem."
She said "It's so graphic!"
Seriously?? You know, I can look through a fashion magazine and see more graphic material than footage of a birth. Our culture is shocked by the image of a vagina..unless of course it's shaved with a penis entering it. What message are we sending our sisters and daughters? The vagina or let me use the medical term BIRTH CANAL is a beautiful part of the female anatomy. The films I show on New Moon Movie Night display beautiful footage meant to empower, inspire and educate women.

Sometimes I meet someone and it is so clear that I am meant to learn something from them. But this particular time I felt the opposite. I felt like I had to teach her something. I had the strongest desire to share with her the empowerment available at birth. I asked her "Have you ever been at a birth? "No." I didn't think so.

You see, a few hundred years ago, she would have never found herself expecting without having seen a baby being born . She'd have been at her sister's births, her auntie's births, probably even the births of some of her siblings. She was part of a sisterhood of women who shared the deep commitment, knowledge, and trust in their bodies that gives birth to motherhood. I'm on a mission to keep that sisterhood alive one New Moon Movie Night at a time.

The Meaning of Christmas...

2010-12-18T11:51:00.011-07:00

The last time I was home for Christmas I vowed it would be the last time I celebrated Christmas. It was the Christmas of 1999. We had a new baby to celebrate. My niece arrived on December 7th. I was in my second year at Ottawa U. My closest friends and I had just recently celebrated Buy Nothing Day by chalking the sidewalks and plastering the malls with posters. We all felt the same way about the holidays...it was turning into something different. The consumption was overwhelming and the gift giving was coming from a place of obligation rather than love. Time after time we heard conversations of worry about the recipients approval of gift giver's choices.
I have fond memories of my childhood Christmas. I still have many of the books that my dad always inscribed with loving words. My favourite is on the inside cover of Black Beauty "To Tanya whose beauty, determination, and grace will surely make her a winner too. Love Dad Xmas 1986" We had traditions, and love, good food, and warmth. Those are the Christmas memories I try to remember. Unfortunately they are often shadowed by the years I felt greed, resentment, jealousy, disappointment and sadness. My adolescence was a very influential time in my life. I was brought up with the magic of Christmas being about the gifts. During my teens, when the money was gone and the gifts were scarce, the traditions, love, good food and warmth weren't enough for me. Replying to the question"What did you get?" on the first day back to school with " I got to make ornaments with my mom, I got to read with my dad, I got to go ice skating with my sister, was not an option. The problem was...I didn't know how lucky I was. My whole relationship with Christmas up until that point was about the gifts. The traditions and family time was there, but there was never any emphasis on how important it was, that those were the things that the holidays were about.

On the Christmas of 1999 I did something different...I gave my family all of my most treasured belongings. The theory being if it was given with love it would be received with love. My sister got my copy of 'The Celestine Prophecy' My brother in law got my beloved wool sweater. My eldest niece got the jewelry box that my dad brought home from a trip to SanFrancisco when I was 6. My mom got my amber necklace, and my dad got some of my best CD's. For the first time, I felt so good about my choices, and I hadn't spent a penny. I wrote a poem about my intent...I wish I still had it. The words I wrote reminded us, that Christmas was about many things, but certainly it was NOT about how much money we spend on one another. So how come the Christmas of 1999 was the end of all my hope for renewed Christmas cheer? My own family did not understand my actions...their reaction was "this is yours...?" I was crushed...and so that was my last family Christmas.

Then during the holidays of 2002 I found myself pregnant, living in a one room cabin nestled in the Canadian Rockies with one of my best friends. The small packages from our friends and family started arriving, and with a new baby on the way, I felt the majic again. Christine and I decided to open a few presents on the winter solstice, and save the rest for Christmas morning. Knits for the baby, chocolates and homemade cookies, scraves from India, and baby clothes and toys form both of our infancies...That Christmas morning is one of my all time favourites. Christine and I talked and talked about how we would celebrate the holidays with our own families. Up until that point the majority of my pregnancy had been focused on childbirth. Christmas with my family? This was a very important decision for me. All of a sudden I was thinking like a mother.
Would we honour St Nicholas? Would we celebrate the Winter Solstice and the coming of Light? Would there be gifts? Would we practice the priciples of Kwanzaa? I knew I had to make some important decisions in the next few years.
As my son grew I found that my initial worry was justified. I could not believe the amount of times we would be in public places and complete strangers would say the most bizarre things. "Are you being a good boy for your mommy? Santa knows whose naughty and nice." or "What are you going to ask Santa for this year? Have you made your list?"
These people always bothered me for a few reasons:

1. Not everybody on the face of the planet celebrates Christmas!
2. Children cannot and more importantly SHOULD NOT be bribed.
3. How come you don't care about my son's behavior the rest of the year?...last summer I could have used some community involvement!
4. Santa is only as capable as my bank book! Please do not encourage my child to expect too much!So the Christmas my son was almost 3 I told him the story of the birth of Christ. I told him the story of St. Nicholas and the origin of Santa Claus
Now in 2010 my famliy has grown and I struggle to hold on to my alternative beliefs in a society that breathes consumption. This year I will give with love and feel good about the message I am teaching my children about the meaning of Christmas. We'll celebrate the Winter Soltice with a dessert potluck and we'll celebrate Christmas with gift giving and family. A family holiday without the confusing message and bribery most people put on their children by linking behaviour to deservance of a visit from Santa. All children deserve the magic of the holidays, no matter what traditions their families choose to celebrate.

BOLD Thoughts...

2010-11-08T13:37:00.002-07:00

Karen Brody blog's at:

www.birththeplay.blogspot.com

She just posted her BOLDFernie experience and I feel so incredibly blessed. She put into words my whole 'birth world' Thank you Karen for always being BOLD and continuing to inspire me to be BOLD.

'Being BOLD'

2010-11-06T14:42:00.004-06:00

A friend of mine told me "It doesn't matter if everybody loves or hates 'Birth' what you should be worried about is if there is no response at all..."

Well if this is true then BOLDFernie's production of 'Birth a play by Karen Brody' was a huge success!

This same friend also said " Tanya...anybody who knows you, knows exactly what the message of this play will be..."

I wish that were the case, but it's not. There we're many people who I know and respect who felt unprepared and did not connect with the message of this play. I have learned that when it comes to performing arts, especially theatre for social change, audiences will take what they want to take...which might not always be the message you're trying to send. In the end the message of this play is still the same: Reality or not a woman's perception of her birth is her TRUTH.

"Put the mother first and everything else will follow..." - Henci Goer

Here are some of the comments from the audience:

'It is a terrific community initiative-I loved seeing women step into their power and passion and go out to "an edge!"'

'It frustrated me - the undercurrent was that docs/nurses are not putting women first; that partners are unequipped to support.'

'I'm thankful to my Dr. & my husband. I will thank them again! Opened my mind to new ways/options.'

'It made me believe in and trust and appreciate the magic of my body'

'Wish I had had natural births, and been exposed to more choices at that time. Makes me want to promote this more.'

'I have always wished that I had really taken a more active role in my birthing decisions - I would never have a hospital birth or be induced again!'

'I was saddened by the play. Too mean spirited & blatantly wrong about a lot of things. Too hard on our medical personnel. Doctors are much better than you depict'

'I left with positive attitudes about woman's involvement in personal choice'

'It reminded me that women are greatly affected by their birth and therefore we need to be very mindful of how we treat them'

'lots of emotions, healing too'

'Love how your focus was on the woman's story-her perspective. It is, after all, the woman giving birth.'

'Opened my eyes to alternative options for childbirth and that I have a voice'

'Made me feel sad & outraged about how women lose their power in the male dominated medical system. Also, it is utterly RIDICULOUS that womens choices in the U.S. are affected by the insurance system'

'Don't be afraid to ask tough questions during the panel after'

'Very interesting. Gives me lots to think about as someone who would like to be pregnant in the near future.'

You can see more reviews at:

Small Town Social

MaryG BLOG

and ,photos of the performance courtesy of Jennifer Gardner of Eyelet Photography

and lastly me and my new homegurl KAREN BRODY yeah that's right...I'm hanging with playwrights...

World Breastfeeding Week

2010-08-01T00:12:00.004-06:00

If you see a mama breastfeeding this week be sure to let her know it's world breastfeeding week and don't forget to tell her she's doing a great job!

This year's theme is "Just 10 Steps The Baby Friendly Way" this is in reference to the World Health Organization and UNICEF governed 'Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative' If you want your health authority to facilitate breastfeeding, write a letter requesting the Baby Friendly designation at your local hospital and health unit. If you want to go further call you hospital and health unit and find out how many of the ten steps they are fulfilling? Here they are:

Ten Steps to Successful Breastfeeding

Every facility providing maternity services and care for newborn infants should:

1. Have a written breastfeeding policy that is routinely communicated to all health care staff

2. Train all health care staff in skills necessary to implement this policy

3.Inform all pregnant women about the benefits and management of breastfeeding.

4.Help mothers initiate breastfeeding within a half hour of birth

5. Show mothers how to breastfeed and how to maintain lactation even if they should be separated from their infants

6.Give newborn infant no food or drink other than breast milk unless medically indicated

7.Practice rooming in. Allow mother and baby to remain together 24 hours a day.

8.Encourage breastfeeding on demand.

9. Give no artificial teats or pacifiers to breastfeeding infants

10. Foster the establishment of breastfeeding support groups and refer mothers to them on discharge from the hospital or clinic.

"Just Ten Steps...."

Cephalopelvic Disproportion

2010-06-26T14:27:00.004-06:00

A few days ago I met a woman expecting her third child coming 5 years after her first two, who was convinced she would undergo a third Cesarean Section due to Cephalopelvic Disproportion (CPD). "My pelvis is too small" is how she put it. Lucky for her I have been listening to Gloria Lemay's (My all time favourite Midwife!) Blog Talk Radio Show. I was able to at least get her to consider the possibility that her pelvis has ample room for a baby. It did help, that her mother was present, because she had two vaginal births herself, and those bones are related. Of course I've see many diagrams of different types of pelvises, and I've read many articles about CPD, but never have I been more convinced about this MYTH than after reading and listening to Gloria's article called "Pelvises I have known and loved" Gloria acknowledges that pelvises come in many shapes and sizes, some which are unfavourable for childbirth, but even those small pelvises that are so commonly the reason given for the surgical removal of newborns, have another aspect that is often overlooked...molding. There are two people involved in childbirth. The mother and her baby, even if the mother has a small pelvis, her baby has a head that is designed to change, form, mold to fit through the "hole". I have linked the article, and also the radio show in this post. I truly hope that the woman I met will get her hospital records from her first two births, read them over, find a care provider who supports VBAC...and prove the physician who told her "Your baby just won't fit" wrong. Gloria Lemay is a Vancouver based midwife who inspires me daily at www.glorialemay.com/blog Her Blog Talk Radio show covers a variety of topics, but most closely related to CPD is her recent show titled "Vaginal Birth After Cesarean" Check it out too. It's nice to be back!
Pelvises I Have Known and Loved

Henry's Werd

2010-06-11T13:16:00.004-06:00

Your Mama wanted you so bad...
Your Papa did too
I'm not puttin' that on you
No one's mad about this
We're just sad that we missed
Your future
We lost an amazing adventure

I think it's important
To vocalize
And recognize
Their intent
To rise above
For the son they love

Your face was familiar when you were born
Child you we're adourned
With so much that your Mama & Papa had sworn
To raise in you
Give thanks and praise in you
Teach their ways in you
Just gaze in you

They could have named you Swanson Huss
And if they had to explain the name
They would proudly proclaim
"He just looked so much like us!"
But as it turns out
They gave you a name they could respectfully shout
From the highest canopy
Of our cottonwood tree
"Henry Roy...
He was our first born boy!"

Then our valley would shake with the news
And the flocks of ravens flew
And our love for your presence grew
Until everyone knew
What only a few
Of us witnessed....

The beauty and grace
On the face
Of a boy
Named Henry Roy Huss

Olivia

2010-05-25T08:57:00.005-06:00

I meant to say "hello" once

We were having brunch

It was Good Friday

We celebrated my way

But I forgot to pay

Attention to you

I was busy making crock pot stew

Doting on the children who grew

But you were there too

So I'm gonna have to rewrite the scene for you

My hands cupped around your warm womb

I'm squatting in front of your belly room

And whisper " I can't wait to meet you!"

Above- your sweet mama

Peering over her potluck plate

Reminds me of your due date

Says she can hardly wait, then smiles

Her smile brightens my whole place

And I look back to the space

You occupy and say

"Oh my!

Child you're gonna have the nicest smile!"

Then your whole universe shakes

'Cause your mama takes a belly laugh

That I'm sure makes you awake

I had so many opportunities to say "I know you"

Because I thought I'd know you

I missed you

I miss you

And it's strange because I make it my whole business

To pay witness to babies in wombs

My heaven is a womb

I trust yours is too

So when we gather for brunch again

I'll be sure to make time to touch heaven

un-blog-ged

2010-04-17T12:18:00.006-06:00

I think it is fair to say that I am new to the world of blogging. Everyday a blog that I follow points me in the direction to another blog that I fall in love with. What's the problem? On a daily basis I am glued to my laptop reading post after post, that link me to other posts...and the next thing I know I'm reading recent studies, or strings and strings of comments...getting more and more fired up! and people wonder why I'm such a BIRTH JUNKIE. So If you haven't yet...check out some of the blogs I'm following, and you'll see - I'm not the only person on this earth who can connect everything to childbirth and breastfeeding.

Last night was the first reading of the play I'm directing. It was so wonderful to sit amongst women I consider some of my closest friends, and know that they are going to commit, and give their hearts to this project. We are B.O.L.D in Fernie, and this production will provoke thought, and allow for communication about experience and revolutionize how this community thinks about birth...

Afterbirth: It's What's For Dinner

2010-03-30T14:36:00.001-06:00

Today I sent an email to a woman in Calgary who encapsulates placentas. I have read many articles, and studies pertaining to the medicinal benefits of the placenta. I just haven't got the stomach for placenta steak. Which, in my opinion is another testament to the 'warrior women' among us. But..placenta pills? Hand over the prescription! I hope to learn the art of placenta encapsulation so I can add it to the list of services I provide. I'm so happy to continue to network with women who are persistently bringing more and more holistic options to this corner of our world. Check out the hilarious link in TIME of all places!

Afterbirth: It's What's For Dinner

Bossom Buddies

2010-03-26T13:25:00.004-06:00

I have very strong opinions about breastfeeding. I also have very strong opinions about choices. Sometimes, these two opinions clash. I have breastfed both my sons...in fact I breastfed my youngest-23months old- three times last night. I do get frustrated when I hear mothers complain about how much time their infant needs to eat. How many times they woke up to nurse their baby last night. Admitting that they were not prepared for the night wakings, and that they had heard they 'only had to get through 8 weeks' and then it would get easier. I'm not frustrated with these mothers themselves...for I have had the same thoughts run through my own mind...I'm frustrated that somewhere along the way we've convinced mother's that breastfeeding is easy. Breastfeeding is NOT easy. Breastfeeding is best.
So back to supporting a woman's choice. What I have come to understand, is that I can only support a woman's choices if they are informed. That being said...if a woman struggles with breastfeeding for 3 to 4 months and is under the impression that her baby should be sleeping through the night, nursing on a schedule, and content at the breast by this time;then chooses to switch to formula because her and her baby are not 'meeting these standards' is that choice informed? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

On a more positive note...I received the most heart warming email from a participant of the Better Babies Pregnancy Outreach program I work with at the Fernie Women's Resource Centre. Another participant was having problems with milk supply, and I witnessed a breast milk exchange in front of my eyes. I am so proud to be a part of a program that facilitates this type of discussion, and works to break down the barriers of our breastfeeding past. We belong to a sisterhood of mother's who, in our past, would not think twice to put our sister's child to our own breast. We ourselves,woman, use to be the formula for infant feeding. In Fernie...we're bringing back our history!

Tanya,

I've been glowing with pride since offering my breast milk to her. Who would have thought these little boobs could do such good! My Husband thinks it's awesome but we both agree that I really am like a cow now. Hook me up mooooo. Anyway, I think this could be a blog topic for you. Make mom's aware that this is possible. I'm going to try to increase my supply since at the moment I can only give her 5oz a day. I'd love to get to 10oz. I hope to make it this afternoon. It's in the schedule!

See,Do,Teach

2010-03-25T08:58:00.004-06:00

Wow...I'm emotional today. Have you ever held unrealistic expectations of yourself? I do that way too often!:) My history as a student is average. Until now I always associated this fact with not being very interested in the subjects I've studied. Then I picked up 'Spiritual Midwifery' by Ina May Gaskin...and I found my interest. Where I struggle is communicating the information I've read. Words I really hate saying because..The problem with that is...I'm a Childbirth Educator! So instead of focusing all my attention on reading the latest studies and then forgetting what I read...I think I'll start researching teaching techniques, study techniques, learning styles and found out how I can best share all the information with my classes. I really don't want to say PowerPoint, but I can see how useful this type of presentation would be when teaching a subject like let's say...ahem...Pain Medications Used in Childbirth...

Last night was the third week in my six week prenatal series. I have to admit, that I am nervous teaching about pain medications to begin with, so when you add the local anesthetist, and his expecting wife to my class, I'm borderline frantic! I ended up asking him a lot of questions..as did other parents. I am the first one to say "I don't know" if I don't know the answer to a question. So, on the whole I was okay with the way the class proceeded. I felt disappointed that all the preparation I had done, had vanished into thin air. I was definitely stuttering, trying to find my words, never mind whole sentences.

The doctor and his wife stayed after class and gave me some very important feedback, that I will definitely use in my future classes. Lucky for me, I've had the opportunity to befriend these individuals. In fact, at my first series he was a speaker, which gave me the opportunity to watch the specialist present on the subject. After class he said "In the medical world we have a saying 'See, Do, Teach' you skipped the DO and went straight to teaching." After thinking about what he said I figure the closest I'll ever get to "doing" an epidural, is demanding that I be able to stay by my clients side if they choose to have an epidural. In the past I have always been made to leave the room. Then of course I have to relate this new medical rule to natural childbirth...

See-other women give birth. Do-it with strength, trust, time, and support. Teach-our daughters the wisdom of their bodies.

Non Focused Awareness

2010-03-17T13:44:00.002-06:00

Last week was my first class in my second 6 week childbirth education series. (That's a mouthful) I let myself into the local college, and upon opening the front door, the alarm was triggered. I did my best at attempting to crack the code, but...I was unsuccessful. I merely continued to set up my room, and hope the siren would resolve itself. As my class started arriving, i was being interrogated by RCMP. Great first impression! If only I had thought to assign them their first Non Focused Awareness exercise. It would have quite possibly sounded like this...

"I hear sirens, the room feels chilly, the cop is intimidating my teacher, i hear keys jingling, my teacher can't find her I.D. , pen scribbling on RCMP pad, my teacher is sweating, this room is cold! RCMP boots on floor, the cop is gone, ahhhh calming music. class starts."

Red Tent Reunion

2010-03-13T13:49:00.006-07:00

The Title of today's post has many significances. In celebration of International Women's Day Womb To Grow Boutique & Support Centre in collaboration with B.O.L.D held The Red Tent Event. On March 7th, 2010 a diverse group of women in Fernie gathered to share birth stories and celebrate our womanhood. It was a memorable day that will stay close to my heart for years to come. I was reunited with my dear friend Tash, who came to Fernie from Penticton, to teach yoga, and guide a meditation. It was LOVE.
Today I am reunited with my blog! It has been almost 6 weeks since I've been here. If it had not been for the amazing energy I experienced in The Red Tent, I don't know if I would have found the inspiration to get back to this blog. Thank you***women of Fernie*** I'm back.
The most profound moment of The Red Tent, for me, was telling the story of my first birth. Going back seven years, yet I experienced all those emotions like it was yesterday. It was just enough emotion for me to understand the importance of my work as a Doula. It is not the outcome of the birth that resonates with mothers...it's the experience. The birth of my eldest son was when I embarked on this journey towards midwifery. It has led me to attend many beautiful warrior women through pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond. Having my son made me feel like I was good at something. I did it! The memory of that birth has given me much strength over the last seven years, but never more than telling it amongst the company of sympathetic women in The Red Tent. I'll raise a glass of red wine and say "Here's to many more generations of new moons, tribes of sisters, and of course...Red Tents"

C-Panty?

2010-02-01T08:49:00.004-07:00

As a retail business owner I often receive updates from distributors on new products. It is rare that I come across a product that angers me. I am not angry that a two time C-section mother collaborated with a surgeon to produce a Post Cesarean Recovery Underwear. More, I am angry that in Fernie 1 in 3 women, may need to purchase such underwear. I have never recovered from a cesarean section, and therefore, it is not fair for me to judge the necessity of a product of this kind. However, I have supported many women through Cesarean recovery. What I have come to appreciate most about recovery is that the mother has no choice but to take it easy. She must sit and take in the transformation of herself. The birth of a mother. I'm finding that too often after birth mother's are so keen to get back to the go-go life we are accustomed too. it's almost a mark of achievement to be at the MOMS groups "so quickly after birth" In some ways I feel like this panty also promotes that 'get back at it' idea. It is marketed as a recovery and 'shaper' panty. We are pushing women to 'get their body back' when the reality is-no matter how fit you are- your body is changed forever. You have joined a sisterhood of mothers who have a muscle within them that has stretched to capacity to hold a child. The mouth of your uterus, the cervix has stretched and opened-c section or not your body is different. Let's embrace these changes, and slow down to enjoy all that is pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood.

All day kindergarten

2010-01-18T15:29:00.004-07:00

The school district we belong to has just implemented all day kindergarten. The all day program will begin in the fall of 2010. I was informed about this decision at a parent advisory committee meeting of the public school my eldest son attends. I was the only one in the room who was disturbed by the idea, in fact most everybody else seemed excited. I went home that evening and emailed the Early Childhood Development Coordinator from a Not-for-profit organization called Children First. The email I sent, and her reply follow. We've gotta start putting our kids first or the future of creativity will be lost.

Thank you for keeping us up to date on all the amazing projects Children First is involved with. I am extremely disappointed with SD#5's recent decision to implement full day kindergarten in 2010/2011 with the program being mandatory by 2011/2012. I am very supportive of parent attended early learning programs, like the Strong Start Programs, and other local groups like Fernie M.O.M.S and Parent Tot Rhyme Time; both supported financially by Success By Six. At this point I am concerned that Early Childhood Development in the East Kootenay's is focusing too much on kindergarten readiness. I believe that our local children should be supported developmentally by their parents. It seems to me that the focus is on programs designed to prepare children to be educated by teachers. I understand that this transition will inevitably happen, but why are we starting so early? As parents we are our children's first teachers.
We need to lay the foundation for an enormous shift in this community. The shift being educating the parents. If we want "success by six and the children in our community to come first" than we need to promote attachment parenting. My impression of the system is that we provide 'early learning centres' like Strong Start, but we don't highlight the importance of making our homes early learning centres. We provide 'parent-tot play time' but we don't record who is taking these activities and using them at home on their own time. We teach parents that their children will be 'more successful' at school if they attend these wonderful programs, but we don't inform them that the Ministry of Education provides a homeschooling curriculum if they choose to home school, or that a child does not have to attend a 'formal educational institute' until the age of six. I am very disturbed by the fact that in September of 2011 there will be many four and a half year olds in school for six hours a day.
I don't have any revolution inspiring ideas on the subject, but as a Doula, Childbirth Educator, and Pregnancy Outreach Worker I would like to see some of these ideas filter down into the programs that support woman early in their mothering journey. If Success By Six funded programs for couples planning pregnancy there would be an opportunity to educate future parents about the importance of being involved in their child's early development, and that this involvement takes time and everybody knows that time is money. We could effectively inform our community to prepare financially to have time for our children before they're even conceived. I am a strong believer in the idea that if you don't know your options you don't have any.

With respect,
Tanya Malcolm

Hi Tanya
Thank-you for your wonderful email. I certainly share your concern that a focus on school -based programs should not overshadow the Success by 6 and Children First programs that serve young children.

I would like to forward you email to our MLA, Bill Bennett and perhaps on to our Minister of Children and Family Development, Mary Polack. Also, I would like to share it with our provincial Success by 6 coordinator, Kim Adamson and of course, the Early Childhood Teams in our region would be very heartened to read your views. I'm sure that they share them.

Please let me know if I can do all of this sharing. And thank-you for taking the time to email me! It helps me to know that there is community support for the work done by the ECD teams, Success by 6 and Children First. It really helps to learn that your support is based on such a strong understanding of the importance of the early years in a child's life.

Children First
East Kootenay Region

Upcoming Childbirth Series

2010-01-05T12:55:00.003-07:00

Yesterday my girlfriend Abi-also college administrative assistant, showed me the room my upcoming class will be held in. I was so excited...just to see it. Wait until class. I have so many amazing teaching techniques, that I learned from some amazing women at my Lamaze Seminar back in November. If you think childbirth education is boring than you should register for this series. I'm redefining prenatal class in Fernie! For more information check out the college website.

Intent in 2010

2010-01-03T18:43:00.003-07:00

This past fall I met Barbara Harper. She is a lovely woman, a midwife, and founder of Waterbirth International She said "We must all live with intent." Her intent is to see waterbirth available in all hospitals in ten years. Barbara, I'm with ya! What better time of year to set an agenda. If we're going to see waterbirth available in all hospitals by the year 2020, I guess I'm going to have to start right here in Fernie. In 2010, I will bring Barbara Harper to Fernie to speak with hospital administrators, and provide credentialing for any physicians interested. In 2010 with the assistance of the Breastfeeding Committee of Canada I will facilitate the implementation on the UNICEF/WHO Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative at Elk Valley Hospital. In 2010 I will attend a workshop at The Farm and receive my Midwife's Assistant Certificate In 2010 I will support BOLD by holding a performance of Birth The Play, and a Red Tent Event to raise awareness about motherbaby friendly maternity care. In 2010 I will continue to educate myself and share with my community information about natural childbirth, breastfeeding, and attachment parenting. In 2010 I will live with intent...

Pajama Day

2009-12-18T10:23:00.002-07:00

Last week I received a notice from My eldest son's school to inform me that it was "Pajama Day" at the end of the week. If you've never witnessed a six year old child find out he can wear his pajamas to school, you should have been in my living room last week. Pure delight. It made me wonder why mother's who are struggling to establish breastfeeding, or get through night wakings, or find energy to make love always complain that they "can't even manage to grab a shower and get dressed for the day." Next time you notice it's afternoon, and you're still in your pajamas, and haven't eaten breakfast yet...congratulations! It's Pajama Day!

Raising Intuition

2009-12-04T11:18:00.006-07:00

I read a wonderful article in this month's Mothering. Diana Lynn says "You don't have to be psychic to help cultivate your child's sixth sense." Acknowledging one's sixth sense is not mainstream practice. It is our responsibility to make certain our children understand that they are born not with five senses, but six. Actively work with them to facilitate their innate extrasensory perception.

As with any subject you consciously want your children to learn...play games. Intuition games. This is not your ordinary game of 20 questions-guessing is not allowed. The article gives the following example. Tell your child you are thinking of an animal. Ask them to feel what animal it is. First have your child feel where the animal lives. "Is it damp and dark like the jungle?" Is it sunny and dry like a desert?" Is it underwater? Do you hear a sound or smell something?" Before your child can answer those question provoke more use of intuition. "feel the ground" for heat or moisture, and "try on" different settings until one feels right. Once the child has the location, move on to the animal itself. Ask your child to pretend to stroke the animal. "Does it feel furry? Slick? How Big? Guide them through the possibilities until they know which animal it is. The more you play the better your child will do.

And what about your own sixth sense? How are we going to teach our children to nourish their intuition if we ourselves are not in tune? As women, we become pregnant and from the moment we see that little blue plus sign we become mothers. We change our whole being to provide the best for our child. In early pregnancy we focus on healthy choices,diets, and exercise; as we get closer to childbirth, we read birth stories, ask questions, take classes. We have become mothers who learn nothing of parenting. Honestly...at what other time do we need our intuition more? Conscious Mothers!...follow your parenting intuition-it will not lead you astray.

Protectors of the Perineum

2009-11-28T12:29:00.008-07:00

For the last 5 years I have been called by midwifery. With every birth I attend the voice is clearer, the message stronger. On Thursday I was at a birth that went almost exactly the way my first birth went. The length of each stage was very close, accomplishing natural birth in the hospital, a doula, doubt, wonder, fear, safety...except one thing that was in abundance at the birth on Thursday that was missing from my birth was protection. We created a circle around this sweet mama, her man, her doula and her midwife...moving with her, bracing her, and staring the fear right out of her distance gaze. She knew every minute that this was normal birth. It was my first birth with a midwife, and it fills me with so much joy and inspiration to have seen a vagina and perineum trusted so completely. The patience at the crowning was so honest, so right. Barbara Harper told me that "A midwife is like a coyote...she sits by the hole and waits." I'm ready to join the pack.

Any Questions?

2009-11-21T11:30:00.003-07:00

Almost every book about childbirth I've read has a section on questions to ask your care provider. I want to know how many women take the time to ask questions? In Fernie, it is very hard to find a physician who is taking new clients. Sometimes women here find out they're pregnant, and they don't yet have a local doctor. I think Fernie women feel like they have to take the doctor they're given. There are three doctors in Fernie who catch babies. All three are female, and lovely. I think the local women looking for prenatal care should schedule appontments with all three, ask the same questions to each, and choose the doctor they feel closests matches the quality of care they want to recieve. You have choices from the very beginning.

http://www.choicesinchildbirth.org/

http://www.motherfriendly.org/

Chamber of Community

2009-11-18T15:48:00.001-07:00

An associate of mine came into the shop today. We we're discussing the state of the volunteer community in Fernie. She said " it seems like 10% of the people accomplish 90% of the work." I figured this could be adapted into a fairly accurate tag line for volunteer run organizations. Her latest experience trying to 'make change' happened to be directed at the Chamber of Commerce. The Chamber is excellent at collaborating and communicating amongst it's members, but somewhere along the way, I think, the community aspect has been lost. So I said "We need a Chamber of Community!" After much excitement at "my idea" and more brainstormnig I realized...this "idea" has been realized. Advocates for Local Living. You can check out their ideas athttp://www.allfernie.ca

"AH-HA"

2009-11-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to start teaching! I'm only a third through this seminar and I have "PASSION FOR BIRTH" in a whole new way! here's one for you..
"encourage":
"en" - to put; "cour" - in the heart; "rage" - passion
"to put passion in the heart"

Passion For Birth

2009-11-13T12:00:00.003-07:00

I'm in Calgary for the weekend. I'm participating in a Lamaze Childbirth Educator Training Seminar called 'Passion For Birth' You can check out what it's all about at
http://www.passionforbirth.com/ I found the website late one night and I thought...hmmmh this is the kind of childbirth educator I want to be. Then I realized it was a Lamaze accredited program...and I was immediately unsure. I never thought a perscribed method of breathing could work for every woman. So I did some homework and found out that Lamaze International has changed! They are determined to get the word out that today's Lamaze is not the Lamaze of the 60's. Women's experience of normal, natural birth has provided the proof needed to spearhead the gradual but dramatic change of Lamaze being a method of giving birth to a philosophy of birth. You can learn more about these changes in their position paper: Lamaze for the 21st Century at http://www.lamaze.org/Portals/0/Policies/3_Lamaze21stCentury.pdf

Better Babies

2009-11-12T14:06:00.005-07:00

I came to the centre today and I felt like I was "home" It's a beautiful thing to be a part of such a great place...and they pay me too! At the moment I'm in the main room with 17 pregnant women, & mothers with children under 1 years old, who participate in the Better Babies Pregnancy Outreach Program. For more information check out http://www.ferniewomenscentre.com/
We hope to see you there!

To Write Their Names in the Sand

2009-11-11T11:00:00.004-07:00

Today is remembrance day...I will take my children to the ceremony in town, we'll give our thanks to those who were so brave, by bowing our heads in a moment of silence. Many will be remembering a life..a loved one lost. Today I am sending love to the mothers who have lost a child. For her every day is remembrance day...

"To Write Their Names In The Sand" began in the early hours of August 19th 2008. In her sleep on that cold winter's morning, Carly dreamed of her son Christian for the first time since he was born sound asleep on January 26th 2007.

Carly dreamed that she was walking along the beach when up ahead of her she saw three children playing together. They were laughing and really enjoying their time under the sun. When she got closer to them they ran away up into the sand dunes. When Carly reached the point where the children were playing she saw that they had written their names in the sand.

The children's names were Noah, Bella and Christian. Carly had dreamed of her son. Even though she did not realize it was him until he was gone she felt overwhelmed with love. Christian was there, he was healthy, whole and happy playing on Heaven's beach with his two little friends that left this Earth only a short time before he did.

Carly woke from her sleep at 3am. Her mind was ticking over. She knew this dream would change her life forever. She knew it meant something amazing. That evening at sunset Carly went to the beach, she kept her dream to herself and told no one. She wrote the three names that had appeared in her dream. After she had taken the photo's she stood in the water and prayed. Carly asked God for strength and love as she was going to embark on a mission to create a children's memorial website where people from all over the world could request their child's name to be lovingly written in the sand, photographed and be made into a memorial. A world of lost children memorial.

Carly kept the memorial page a secret from Sam. She showed it for the first time to him on Father's Day. Sam and Carly had no idea that this dream would become something so amazing. They receive on average 100 name requests a day.

Their dream is to bring warm light back into bereaved families lives. They wish for everyone Hope and Peace.

Miss Piggy for Natural Birth

2009-11-10T11:10:00.004-07:00

I found out this morning that Sesame Street is 40 years old today! Thank you Jim Henson! My family tuned into The Muppet Show every week...it was so special to us that my sister's nickname became "Muppy" (I think she was the biggest fan) Now that I work within the birth community I tend to relate all things to birth. I know Jim and Jane Henson had five children of their own...I wish I knew those birth stories. I found a quote from Jim
"One of the nice things about puppets is that it's your own hand in there. You can make it do anything you want it to."
After I read that quote I wondered if Jim could have that affect on humans? I know a few obstetricians I would have introduced him to.
Ofcourse then I wondered which muppets Id like to have around for a birth. Since I believe birth is women's work...right away I thought of Miss Piggy. She'd have made an amazing doula. Somewhere along the way I've read
"Uninhibited Birth-it ain't pretty but it's beautiful." and Miss Piggy once said
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."

Prime Time Preemie

2009-11-09T00:07:00.001-07:00

Kangaroo Mother Care on Grey's Anatomy!
Praise to the writer's of this popular TV Series! Bringing Kangaroo Mother Care to the attention of millions of viewers including many Physicians, Pediatricians and Obstetricians. I may just reconsider cancelling my cable...
Check out 0-48 sec. & 2:06 - 2:45